Someone posted this in my Second Trimester Grief group and wanted to share for those who don't quite understand or just want to read along. It felt very personal. Almost like it was written for me.
Somewhere out there is a woman who looks, well, merry.
Her life seems full.
She smiles in the glow of the Christmas lights.
She laughs at the parties she attends.
She leads the Christmas program with joy.
She shows up to work and starts the day enthusiastically.
She decorates the Christmas tree and piles gifts underneath it.
She hustles and bustles along with the crowds.
She bakes and delivers cookies.
Maybe she has children and is busy doing alllll the seasonal activities with them.
But in the quiet of night, her smile fades. Her joy succumbs to grief. And the tears fall.
Because it’s Christmas, and she was supposed to have a baby.
But her womb is empty.
The baby it held is gone.
And even in the mad swirl of Christmas chaos, her life feels empty.
Her pain is invisible. She hides it well. She wants to talk about her loss but doesn’t feel she can.
Who is she to dampen the Christmas joy with her flood of sorrow?
She may not spend Christmas alone, but she will feel alone.
Because she carries the pain of baby loss alone.
Look for this woman. Be her safe space. Carry her sorrow with her.
And be gentle.
You never know who might be suffering silently.
I often fine myself feeling confused. I want to be happy and enjoy Christmas, but it isn't the way it was supposed to be. I have felt frustration over what I wanted so badly, and sadness that I just don't know what the future will bring us and our family.
Sending lots of love to those who might identify with this.
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