Genuinely. And in so many ways, more than I can explain. They say science confirms after giving birth you are a different person. How true this is. How much everything changes for a mama. My priorities, my hopes & dreams, my whole world flipped upside down the day Jack entered our lives. And I mean this in the best way possible. I simply, totally, absolutely LOVE being a mama. It's my favorite identity. Ever. I used to really identify myself as a teacher, as I loved my career and it was my passion. I still love my job, I still love and can appreciate what I do, but after becoming a mom, I had so much more respect, honor, and admiration for other moms out there and what we do daily. There are no breaks (especially stay at home moms), no time to rest. It's not eight hours then you go home and put your feet up. It's all day every day for the rest of your life, and it's an amazing thing.
Of course I knew my priorities would change, but it's so much more than this. My hobbies, things that now fulfill me, quite heavily rely around my son. And I love it! I sometimes think back to life before Jack, and it seems so foreign and weird to me that we had a life before him. A totally brand new version of myself and my life was born the day he was, and I will cherish that life forever.
Before giving birth, my favorite hobbies included going to the gym, happy hour, and hosting parties with my friends. Now, I love nothing more than Saturday morning music class with Jack. My exercise is much better when it's a stroller ride with Jack around our hilly neighborhood. The things that bring him joy, now bring me joy. He is now over a year old, and I still have not left him overnight. It just doesn't feel right. And as much as I love my friends who do not have children yet, it's just hard for them to understand that, as much as I need a break from Jack, a night away from him sounds terrible and sad. Before Jack, I would come home and have a glass of wine after a hard day of work. Now, picking him up from daycare and seeing his smile as he runs to me to give me a big smooch, is all I really need.
Becoming a mom truly does transform you into a new type of human being. In teaching, we use the term, "Fill Your Bucket", where we teach our students how to be emotionally fulfilled by doing things that make them happy. It's different for everyone, of course. Being around my son fills my bucket. Watching him grow and hit the many different milestones in the first year fills my bucket. Waking up to him snoozing next to me after a long night of nursing him every three hours fills my bucket.
Who would have known this new version of me could possibly exist in this lifetime? The life-of-the-party, 9-hour-a-night sleeper. But I'm here to tell you, it happens quite literally overnight, and it's a beautiful, fantastic transformation. 10/10 would recommend.
xo Courtney
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