I wish I could say grief gets easier the longer you sit with it. I think the amount of time per day or week or month that it creeps up on you and tears you down just becomes less frequent.
It has taken me a long time to even fathom writing about our sweet Angel baby boy again. Throughout our pregnancy after our loss with baby girl, I thought that writing about it would cause another loss. I thought that talking about it would somehow jinx my pregnancy again. Pregnancy after loss is a wild wild journey with high highs and low lows and LOTS of anxiety, and I hope to write about it for others someday who might have to experience the same type of thing.
But for now, today we honor our Angel boy in Heaven, baby L. We love you, we miss you, and we will see you soon in the snow. Thank you for watching over baby girl during these last 10 months. You will always be a part of our little family.
It’s so interesting, really. So many people asked me while I was pregnant, “is this your first?” And I’ve felt so entirely strange saying to them, “no, this is my second” because it’s really not and I’ll never feel that way. Baby girl is my third baby, my second is just in Heaven.
You are never gone and you are never forgotten.
Xo Mommy
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