Love the alliteration of that, but also it's so fucking true. I was not sure where exactly to put this post because it relates to both pregnancy and postpartum, but either way it's true. And I'm not saying do not read the books. I am actually telling you, READ THE DAMN BOOKS. Or at least peruse, skim through. If you are pregnant for your first time, 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' is truly helpful in reducing some fears when you might have something going on. You can pretty much look up what you are feeling and the book tells you what it might be. But again, every pregnancy is different and this should be taken as merely a guide and not THIS IS HOW IT IS FOR EVERYONE.
In the first weeks and months following the birth of your child, the books should really be taken lightly, especially in concern to your child's health & development. I ended up getting 'What to Expect the First Year' (it was a deal on Amazon to get both as a collection-can't resist a deal) but ended up ditching it after month six PP. I feel that the book actually gave me more anxiety at a point than it did in helping me understand what my child should be doing at what age. Also, who the fuck says your child should be talking at 11 months? Who made it a law that your child should be walking by one year? These were developmental milestones that had me anxious for Jack to reach. SOLID FOOD was another one. Every baby starts food at a different time, and there are so many different ways to start foods. Regardless of when or how you start you baby's solid food, I promise you they will get on track with it. (I'll post just about solid foods a lot).
There are also many other books out there. There are books on baby sleep and wake windows and naps and how long those should be BUT DO NOT LET THEM SLEEP OVER [insert amount of time]. The rules they tell you to follow. 'Your baby is undertired, they won't sleep', 'Well now they are overtired, idiot! They're not gonna sleep!' 'The room must be cold and dark and the sound machine at 60 decibels'. Yeah, no. The only thing so far that I have really anecdotally observed and collected evidence on (here's my sped teacher self coming out) based upon family, friends, and the other babies around me, is that there is ZERO science to it. There's good sleepers and poor sleepers and in-between sleepers. Regressions in sleep are as real as you make them. My son decided to regress during a very drastic developmentally changing time, and took a while to come back from it. No, it did not take a night or a few days. It took months. And he was a star sleeper before that.
My point is this-every baby is completely and totally developmentally different in all aspects. Every baby has their strengths & their weaknesses, and no book is going to tell you that THAT is normal and okay. No book will tell you that your mommy instinct is better than that of the pediatrician, and when something is wrong-really wrong-you will be on your own to figure it out. So yes, absolutely buy the books and use them as a guide. For sleep, developmental stages, all of it. But these books are not the fucking Bible. Remember they are there to HELP you, not make you feel worse. So if you find yourself reading and getting anxious, close the fucking book and go smooch your babe. Have a contact nap, do some tummy time. You know your baby better than some peer-edited bullshit that someones getting paid to write.
Hope this helps!
xo Courtney
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